[Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-06.txt
Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Thu, 28 September 2006 21:56 UTC
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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-06.txt
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I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-06.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 28 sept 2006 IETF LC Date: 30 sept 2006 IESG Telechat date: not known yet Summary: Not Ready Comments: I have two major concerns and some minor comments: * the overview (section 2.1, pages 15-17) fails to introduce the real protocol: no mention of the report or of the fact the response is carried in a TCP option, at the opposite of request and report. So when a new reader reaches the page 20 he is lost (at least I was the first time :-). I believe it is easy to fix, the only issue is to get a "fresh" reader to check the new text... * the IPv6 part needs to be improved: I suggest to ask in the mailing list(s) or the WG chairs, perhaps more v6ops than ipv6 as questions are more about concrete details than protocol theory. See below for some examples of this concern. - (changes) page 3: formating -> formatting - 3.1 page 20: MUST sent -> MUST send - 3.2 "Note that [RFC2460] specifies that when a specific flow label has been assigned to packets, the contents of the Hop-by-Hop options, excluding the next header field, must originate with the same contents throughout the IP flow lifetime." This is in the Appendix A about Flow Labels which was obsoleted by RFC 3697. BTW the "must" even does not apply to different fragments of the same packet (-:)! To fix this I suggest to replace the whole paragraph by a reference to RFC 3697 "IPv6 Flow Label Specification". - 3.3 page 22 introduces the idea to remove the option but this kind of operation is supposed to be forbidden, in particular with IPv6. IMHO the risk to break path MTU discovery is very high too. The alternative, zeroing the quick-start option fields, seems far better even it is more expensive for subsequent routers. I'd prefer to get it as the default behavior. - 3.4 page 26: guessable -> predictable - 4.1 page 28: there is a nice discussion about end point address changes. As it should become common with IPv6 multi-homing IMHO it should be read by IPv6 people... - 4.5 page 33: the TCP *receiver* can't deduct RTT from a request/ response pair. IMHO it is a typo: the pair is request/report. - 9.6 page 55: overly-larqe -> overly-large - 11 page 60: update RFC 2402 by 4302 and add a pointer to entry page 85 in the references. - A.2 page 65: conformant -> compliant - B.1.1 page 68: update [RFC2401] by [RFC4301] and add "ESP" between IPsec and tunnel mode. - B.2 page 70: put a reference for RFC 3390. - B.3 page 72: (about MSS) to spoof the TCP options is both a bad idea and not applicable when IPsec encrypts them... - D page 81: simpliest -> simplest Regards Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-q… Francis Dupont
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Sally Floyd
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Francis Dupont
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Sally Floyd
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Francis Dupont
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Mark Allman
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Sally Floyd
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Sally Floyd
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Francis Dupont
- [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsv… Francis Dupont
- Re: [Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf… Brian E Carpenter