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Re: [HOKEY] WGLC comments for preauth document



Charles,

Thank you very much for your review.  I agree with all of your commments.

Here is a list of action items:

- We will add a terminology section.

- We will add an inter-AAA domain handover use case in which there is
no roaming relationship between visited and home AAA domains, e.g., a
handover from a residential Wi-Fi network to a WiMAX network.

- We will revise the specific sentenses you pointed out.

- We will add missing references you pointed out.

- In Figure 1, the "Internet" cloud can be an arbitrary IP network.
We will revise the figure accordingly.

- The term "subnet" has been mainly used to cover intra-technology
handover across media-specific domains such as 802.11r mobility
domains.  We can revise the draft to use the term "media-specific
domains" with an appropriate definition in a new terminology section.

- We will shorten the content of Appendix A and move it to the main
body of the draft.

- We will fix all editorial comments.

Best Regards,
Yoshihiro Ohba

On Sat, Apr 05, 2008 at 08:13:23PM -0400, Charles Clancy wrote:
> WGLC Comments for draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-02:
> 
> Overall
> -------
> 
> A terminology section is needed.  The document uses a lot of terminology 
> without defining it or citing documents in which it has already been 
> defined.
> 
> This document discusses cases where we wish to pre-authenticate from one 
> authenticator to another, but it's not clear whether these 
> authenticators have to be served by the same AAA server or AAA domain. 
> I think one of the major benefits of pre-authentication is the ability 
> to pre-authenticate to a remote AAA domain that does not have a roaming 
> relationship with your current AAA domain.  This would allow a mobile 
> node with multiple credential sets (with multiple AAA servers/domains) 
> to roam between networks that don't have a roaming relationship.  For 
> example, this might allow you to roam from your home WiFi network to an 
> operator's WiMAX network.  I think more discussion should be in the 
> document to distinguish between and clarify these cases.
> 
> Section 1:
> ----------
> 
> This should be moved to the end of the document.
> 
> Section 2:
> ----------
> 
> "When a mobile during an ...": some terminology is needed, particularly 
> define "mobile", or preferably refer to it using EAP terminology, i.e. 
> the "peer".
> 
> s/may change its subnet/may change the subnet/
> 
> s/support an interactive/support interactive,/
> 
> authentication procedure and authorization procedure are poorly defined
> 
> s/affects the ongoing/affects ongoing/
> 
> s/where an AAA/where a AAA/
> 
> Reword sentence: "Depending upon the
>     type of architecture, in some cases the AAA signals traverse all the
>     way to the AAA server in the home domain of the mobile as well before
>     the network service is granted to the mobile in the new network."
> 
> s/such as VoIP is very/such as VoIP are/
> 
> Section 3:
> ----------
> 
> s/setting up of L2/setting up L2/
> 
> s/AP (Access Point)/Access Point (AP)/
> 
> Reword sentence: "Following a successful authentication, a secure 
> association protocol
>     named four-way handshake with the wireless station derives a new set
>     of the session keys for use in data communications."
> 
> s/Unless PMK (Pairwise Master Key)/Unless the Pairwise Master Key (PMK)/
> 
> Need reference for: "This is
>     larger than the average coverage overlap of a wireless LAN (WLAN)."
> 
> s/organizations.  But these/organizations, but these/
> 
> Add references for 11f and 11i
> 
> Reword sentence: "Especially, a solution is needed to
>     enable EAP pre-authentication in IEEE 802.11 to work even if the
>     station and AP are not members of the same VLAN."
> 
> s/of high bandwidth wireless/of high-bandwidth, wireless/
> 
> s/802.11a\/b\/g/802.11/
> 
> s/hotspot like coverages/hotspot-like coverage/
> 
> s/relatively lower bandwidth/relatively low bandwidth/
> 
> s/handover keying or EAP/handover keying, or EAP/
> 
> s/contact in the new/context to the new/
> 
> s/because of domino effect/because of the domino effect/
> 
> s/a compromise of/the compromise of/g
> 
> s/I-D.ietf-hokey-reauth-ps/RFC5169/
> 
> Recommend not using term "subnet" as it's not defined in the EAP 
> context.  EAP is typically an L2 protocol, which has no notion of subnets.
> 
> s/Note that EAP pre-/Note that the EAP pre-/
> 
> s/by each link-layer/by each link layer/
> 
> s/developed at IETF/developed by the IETF/
> 
> s/ongoing data communications are/ongoing data communication is/
> 
> Figure 1: Why is "Internet" in the middle?  Can't it be an arbitrary L3 
> network?
> 
> s/functionality of EAP authenticator/functionality of an EAP authenticator/
> 
> s/is either standalone/is either a standalone/
> 
> s/functionality of EAP server/functionality of an EAP server/
> 
> s/On the other hand, when/When/
> 
> s/with EAP server/with the EAP server/
> 
> Add references for RADIUS and Diameter
> 
> s/uses an MSK (Master Session Key)/uses a Master Session Key (MSK)/
> 
> Section 4:
> ----------
> 
> s/two scenarios on how/two scenarios for how/
> 
> s/a serving authenticator/serving authenticator
> s/a candidate authenticator/candidate authenticator
> s/a AAA server/AAA server/
> 
> s/for both pre-authentication scenarios/for either pre-authentication 
> scenario/
> 
> Section 4.2:
> ------------
> 
> Reword sentence: "Indirect pre-authentication signaling is spliced into 
> mobile node to
>     serving authenticator signaling (MN-SA signaling) and serving
>     authenticator to candidate authenticator signaling (SA-CA signaling)."
> 
> Section 5
> ---------
> 
> s/pre-authentication, i.e., authenticator/preauthentication: authenticator/
> 
> Section 5.1
> -----------
> 
> s/IP address and a mechanism/IP address, and a mechanism/
> 
> Section 6
> -----------
> 
> s/AAA documentations/AAA documents/
> 
> s/This means, when such/This means that when/
> 
> s/support pre-authentication function,/support pre-authentication,/
> 
> s/life time/lifetime/g
> 
> s/pre- authenticated/pre-authenticated/
> 
> s/or the NAS, when/or the NAS when/
> 
> "mobile entity"?  Be consistent with terminology.
> 
> s/ping pongs/cycles/
> 
> s/common for the network operators/common for network operators/
> 
> s/maintain the control/maintain control/
> 
> s/in an anticipation for/in anticipation of/
> 
> Section 7:
> ----------
> 
> s/any solution for this problem needs considerations on/any solution 
> needs to consider/
> 
> Sentence fragment, revise: "   First, a possible resource consumption 
> denial of service attack where
>     an attacker that is not on the same IP link as the mobile node or the
>     candidate authenticator may send unprotected pre-authentication
>     messages to the mobile node or the candidate authenticator to let the
>     legitimate mobile node and candidate authenticator spend their
>     computational and bandwidth resources."
> 
> s/noted that, when/noted that when/
> 
> Appendix A:
> -----------
> 
> I think this should be significantly shortened, citing references, and 
> included in the body of the document.
> 
> -- 
> t. charles clancy, ph.d.                 eng.umd.edu/~tcc
> electrical & computer engineering, university of maryland
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> HOKEY at ietf.org
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> 
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