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Re: [HOKEY] WGLC: draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-02
Hi Shubhranshu,
Thank you very much for your review. I agree with most of your comments.
Please see my comments below.
On Mon, Apr 07, 2008 at 06:28:51PM +0530, Shubhranshu wrote:
> I went through draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-02 and found it well
> written and easy to understand.
>
> A few comments are provided below. Currently I am not subscribed to
> the mailing list. It is possible that some of my comments have already
> been discussed, if so please ignore them. Also, feel free to forward
> the comments to the list.
>
> 2. Introduction
>
> Throughout this document, "mobile", "mobile device" and "peer" has
> been interchangeable used. Suggest to pick-up one, preferably between
> the later two, and use it consistently.
We will be adding a new terminology section to address your
comment and Charles' comment.
>
> 3. Problem Statement
>
> Suggested modification of first sentence: " From pre-authentication
> perspective, Basic mechanism of handover is a three-step procedure
> involving...."
I think that the three-step precedure is common to all handover
scenarios not necessarily from pre-authentication perspective.
>
> "HOKEY server" has been used but not defined anywhere in the document.
A new terminology section will address this.
>
> Suggest replacing "full authentication" with "normal authentication"
> else include some text to clarify the previous terminology (also
> applicable to other places in the document).
OK.
>
> In the paragraph starting with "EAP pre-authentication discussed in
> this document",
> /s "...or of the same link-layer technology / or support same
> link-layer technology.
OK.
>
> Not clear what is meant by "such use" ? Deleting the last sentence or
> starting the sentence with "Use of pre-authentication" might help.
We can remove the last sentence.
>
> "This framework has general applicability to various deployment
> scenarios in which proactive signaling can take effect." Which
> framework ? Till this paragraph no framework has been defined.
We can revise it to: "EAP pre-authentication has general applicability
to ..."
>
> "applicability of EAP pre-authentication is limited to the scenarios
> where candidate authenticators can be easily discovered, an accurate
> prediction of movement can be easily made". I'd think that candidate
> authenticator discovery is the issue here not the _easiness_ with
> which it can be discovered. Remove "easily"
OK.
>
> 5.2. Context Binding
>
> s /a mechanisms is needed / a mechanism is needed
OK.
>
> "There are two possible approaches to address the context binding
> issue." In order not to restrict any future solution space, consider
> replacing it with "There are at least two possible approaches to
> address the context binding issue."
OK.
>
> 6. AAA Issues
>
> s / has yet not moved to the new location / has not yet moved to the
> new location
OK.
>
> Completion of network attachment: " ....There may need to be a
> mechanism within the AAA protocol to provide this indication to the
> AAA server." This is needed only when the AAA server differentiates
> between pre-authentication and normal authentication states. Perhaps
> some text indicating this assumption would help.
OK, we will add some text indicating the assumption.
>
>
> 7. Security Considerations
>
> " the candidate network or authenticator should apply non-
> cryptographic packet filtering " Suggest to keep the flexibility by
> using "may" instead of "should"
OK.
>
> s / non-cryptograhpic packet filtering / non-cryptographic packet filtering
OK.
Regards,
Yoshihiro Ohba
>
> - Shubhranshu
>
>
>
> >
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> > Subject: [HOKEY] WGLC: draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-02
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> > This serves as the Working Group Last Call (WGLC) for the EAP
> > Pre-authentication Problem Statement:
> >
> > http://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps
> >
> > Please send any comments on the document to the list by April 7, 2008.
> >
> > --
> > t. charles clancy, ph.d. eng.umd.edu/~tcc
> > electrical & computer engineering, university of maryland
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>
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