RE: [ipcdn] Comments on draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-eventmess-04.txt

[Nakanishi Greg-MGI8179 <gnakanishi at motorola.com>]

My comments ---

1) I suggest "PacketCable" and "IPCablecom"  be defined in the Terminology section.

2) There are a number of places in the document that makes reference to "PacketCable device".  Shouldn't this be "PacketCable or IPCablecom device"?  Or more simply "MTA device".

3) The naming convention we've been using on other MIB modules in IPCDN adds "-IETF-" to the module name to distinguish it from the corresponding MIB module being developed in CableLabs.  So, it this case, the MIB module name should be something like "PKTC-IETF-EVENT-MIB".

4) I think the ORGANIZATION clause should be IPCDN rather than CableLabs.

5) The DESCRIPTION clause is missing the mandatory copyright notice.

6) The OID layout doesn't conform to the recommended layout given in "Guidelines for MIB Documents", Appendix D.

7) pktcDevEnvetReportStatus - The last sentence of the DESCRIPTION clause states "... Defined by PacketCable by default."  Should this just PacketCable or PacketCable and IPCablecom.

8) pktcDevEvThrottleAdminStatus 
- The description makes mention of throttling events using SNMP and Syslog.  What about the local log?  Are events written to the local log not subject to throttling?  
- "A value of stopAtThreshold(3) causes event message transmission to cease at the threshold, and not resume until directed to do so." How is the device directed to resume sending event messages?

9) pktcDevEvThrottleThreshold  - Same comment as above about the local log.

10) pktcDevEvThrottleInterval  - The DEFVAL clause should be on a separate line for readability.

11) pktcDevEventDescrTable - Should the reference to "PacketCable" be "PacketCable/IPCablecom"?

12) pktcDevEventDescrId - "The event identifier can either be PacketCable defined or vendor-specific." Would be good to provide a reference to the PacketCable spec where the events are defined.

13) pktcDevEventDescrReporting - Should define what each one of the bit values mean.

14) pktcDevEventDescrText and pktcDevEventDescrClass - These objects are read-write.  It seems odd to me that these objects would be writable.  Is it really intended that these are writable objects?

15) pktcDevEvLogCorrelationId - "...per section 5.4.5 of [3]"  Reference [3] doesn't exist in the references section.

16) [PKT-SP-EVEMIB1.5] - There is an odd character after the "PacketCable"

17) Reference section - There are number of reference in the body of the text that do not exist in the references section.  Need to make sure all reference are cited.  The ones I found are PKT-SP-PROV, PKT-SP-MIB-MTA, PKT-SP-MGCP, RFC3435, PKT-SP-CODEC, and RFC2119.

18) Security Considerations - Per the MIB Guidelines, need to explicit discuss all MIB objects, even if to only state that there are no security issues with the object.

greg

-----Original Message-----
From: ipcdn-bounces at ietf.org [mailto:ipcdn-bounces at ietf.org] On Behalf Of Sumanth Channabasappa
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2005 10:04 AM
To: ipcdn at ietf.org
Subject: [ipcdn] Comments on draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-eventmess-04.txt

Folks,

This mail is to solicit feedback on draft-04 of the "Management Event MIB for PacketCable/IPCablecom MTAs".

Comments received so far include:

- There is no MIB Object defined as 'pktcDevEventThrottle 3' (we have MIB Objects for 2 and 4)

- The Reference in the description of the MIB Object 'pktcDevEvLogCorrelationId' seems to be out of place.

And a few editorial nits. We plan to wrap this up in the next couple of weeks, so comments would be appreciated. 

- S 

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